After Beijing trip, my life seemed to be fast forwarded in full speed. I seemed to have lunch more on the table alone or with my friends discussing work. And I seemed to go home a lot more later than usual. It’s a perfect combination of rating calibration season and managing additional accounts as one of our colleague moved to another department. It’s exhausting and tiring. When I am home, I usually just hit the sack and collapsed ’til morning. And the stories repeated again on the next day.

The good thing is, during weekend I spent it full day with my family.

We had quite a busy day on Saturday. It started with me (re)doing math test in my dreamed business school. Due to better preparation this time, I think I managed ok. I only need to do more soul searching as to why do I want to do this a.k.a why do I want to add more stress into my almost manageable life? I need to search my soul better as I still have not find the answer until now.

After test, Pascal and hubby picked me up for coffee and cookies at Starbucks, before we picked up Mika from his Tae Kwon Do School. Guess who had the cookies crumbs all over the mouth? We have little cookie monster with us. We then had lunch in Ny. Suharti where we also spent sometimes to play around the fish pond and marginal play ground. Again, my cookie monster ate a full plate of rice with chicken. I wonder what happened with his diet program? It did not seem to work…

After that we went to PIM 2 to watch Beverly Hills Chihuahua. It was Pascal’s first time watching movie in the theatre so he was very excited. He kept on going up and down, inside and out and stood up on his chair. It was a bit frustrating and yet it was fun. But not for poor Mika who seemed embarrased with his little brother’s boisterous attitude. So we tried to manage Pascal’s endless energy by taking turn in taking him out and taking him in again. And the fact that we sat two rows from above made it quite tiring for a couple of mid 30s like us. Not to mention that we lost the continuation of the movie. Argh!!

And then we went for dinner at ChopStix for the hundredth times. We’ve been going there every week for months! The boys seemed never grow tired of it and I seriously thought that ChopStix should have give us discount or some sort of recognition as loyal customer!

Oh well, I guess what is important is that we were together. Nomatter what we eat. So we went home tired and contented. We slept right away, surrounded by the kids and I thought that I had never felt happier in my life like where I was on Saturday. I love you, boys.

You don’t believe me? You think I am being cocky or too sure of my self? What if I tell you that I always get what I want. Will you believe me? No? Why? Cause there is no such thing? But I do. I always get what I want. And what if I don’t? Then I will keep on trying. I will keep on trying until I get it. Until I am satisfied with it. That’s the mantra of my life. That’s how I live my life. Once I want something, I will focus on that particular thing, and use all effort to get it. And it’s amazing. I even beats life sometimes. You don’t believe me? Ok, here are some examples:

1. On 1990, a Doctor told me that I will not live long. Due to my Systemic Lupus Erythematosus. I will only have 10% chance to live. I looked at him in wonder. I mean, don’t we all going to die someday? What’s new in the news? Ah, he is saying that I am not going to pass my 18th birthday. Oh really? Doesn’t he know who I am? So right after that, I focus my self to survive. To live. Whatever he told me, I followed. As the major cause of Lupus is stress, I learned to let go. I let go my good grades. I let go my appearance. I let go all the dreams, the engineering schools, the parties and the live of 17th years old girl. I have one objective, I have to live. And here I am. Alive and kicking. And boy, I could kick real hard if I have to. Ask my clients.

2. On 1997, things were very depressing in Indonesia. Professionally and personally. I broke up with my boyfriend again. So I want to work abroad. I started to widen my network. Until I found someone who can open a door for me. I met my potential employer. I flew to his country for orientation. And I got the job. I got the job as an expatriate when I was nearly 24. Funnily, once I got it, I lost interest. I have other thing that I want. I want my relationship to work. So I left that abroad job and start working on my relationship again. Things have been quite hot and cold with my boyfriend at that time. And I made up my mind, lets make it work. Lets make all effort, heart & mind to make it work. And it worked. And we got married.

3. On 2000, I was told that I will not be able to get pregnant. Ooookay. So I let go everything. Including contraceptive. And voila! Here I am with two healthy boys. Tee hee.

4. On 2007, things were very depressing in the office. Professionally and personally again. Long working hours. Long commuting time. Endless traveling. I was suffered. So I decided, I want to work in an Office close from home. So I started applying all possible companies close to my house. First interview was not too impressive. I was offered something that is not my passion. Second interview was like being offered a moon. So I grabbed it. I grabbed it and here I am. Doing things that I love. And got paid for it. Isn’t that great or what?

My point is, you should keep on trying. Like the Energizer bunny, keep going keep going keep going. Tried until its hurt. Even if we don’t get it, at least we knew that we’ve tried. Lets have some rest. And try again. Try differently. And it will happen. Believe me. You just need to want it so badly, get your self motivated, and do everything you can to achieve it.

Right now what I want is to have quality time with my family. So I keep on asking my self. What can I do to make you happy? How can I make the kids time more fun and yet educative. How can I make sure every word I said has an impact to them. How can I consistently lead with examples? How can I…in my limited time…make sure that my kids knew that even though I am not going to be around much, I have always -no, correction- I will always…always…hold them dear in my heart. I will not be gone long. I will be really busy only for 24 months. And after that, that’s all. I will be yours now and forever. I can assure you that. You don’t have to be lucky to have that because that’s what I will do.

One more day and my Idul Fitri holiday will be officially ended. I must say that as Mikhail hits 7 years old and Pascal hits 3.5 years old, they are quite ‘easy’ to manage. If you used to lead a gang of bandits in Tattooine, of course. But I do have a good time with them and for the past 2 weeks, they have managed to influence me to grow a new addiction to this. I found the epic is very romantic and I will always remember below dialogue:

From the moment I met you, all those years ago, a
day hasn’t gone by when I haven’t thought of you. And now
that I’m with you again, I’m in agony. The closer I get to
you, the worse it gets. The thought of not being with you
makes my stomach turn over - my mouth goes dry. I feel
dizzy. I can’t breathe. I’m haunted by the kiss you should
never have given me. My heart is beating, hoping that kiss
will not become a scar. You are in my very soul, tormenting
me. What can I do? I will do anything you ask…

Anakin Skywalker to Padme in Naboo Lake Rretreat, Lodge, Fireplace Alcove - Twilight.

A love so blind it made a person sold his soul to the darkness to save a loved one.

Now, if you excuse me, let me close my eyes and pretend that I am someplace else among the stars.

The first two days of Idul Fitri has officially ended yesterday. But the full stomach is still a little bit aching from over eating too many devilishly fingerlicking food. We had endless opor ayam, beef rendang, Padang fried chicken, dendeng balado, meat balls with noodles and also soto ayam. Not to mention to Idul Fitri typical home made snacks and cakes such as srikayo ketan, kaastengel, nastart, putri salju (snow white), cheese cakes, double chocolate cakes and many others. Yummy!

We started different ritual this year. Mika and Pascal are now big enough for hubby to take them for Ied praying. My youngest brother, who is going to get married next month, also went with them. I was told that it went pretty well. Pascal did drink bottle milk during the preach but altogether he behaved very good and follow the praying without a fuss.

And then we went to my Mom’s house for morning meals, then my Mother in Law’s house for noon meals. The day after, we went to my Mother in Law’s house again. This time to take my Mom and brothers to meet my Mother in Law. And we went to my Grandmother’s house as yesterday’s final destination.

As happened every year, we met with relatives whom we meet only once or twice a year. It was merry and wonderful and I took a lot of pictures this time. 10 years from now, I want to be able to look into these pictures and recall the big family we have.

Selamat Hari Raya Idul Fitri 1429 H

I have been so busy lately. So many things to write, so little time I had. I have been left with words dancing at the end of my fingers trying to get through. Let me trying to get through some of them today. More are coming.

On April 5, my big family and I went to my youngest brother’s girl friend’s house to formally propose her to be his wife. The occasion went well, regardless the fact that Mika and Pascal were being their usual curious self. Kids. They are so funny. They did not realise that this is a big moment for their favorite uncle. So they kept on climbing to his lap. When I moved forward to bring the ring, they jumped out from their chairs and kept on asking, “What is that, Mom? What is that?” Mika could easily look at it whereas Pascal kept on jumping. Apart from that, there was no major incident. Thank God.

On April 8, we celebrated Pascal’s 3rd birthday in his pre-school. The 2 - 3 years old children are the cutest creature. They looked at me with their blank look when I sang Peter Pan’s song. Their eyes were like, “What is this woman doing here???”…hehehehe…so cute! Pascal’s birthday party theme was Transformers. His cake got Optimus Prime and Star Scream. It was great. 

On travel note, this coming Thursday and Friday, I will be travelling to Batam to visit the North Belud-ers. The WHP and Platform is in project stage in McDermott and Nippon Steel fabrication yard. I really look forward to see it.

And by end of April towards the beginning of May, I will be travelling Offshore again. Yay!! I really look forward to return to those beautiful production fields and meet the people. I hope they will be gentle with me.

I will write more, I promise!

Before I continue with my usual mundane rambling, let me remind my self the objective to keep on writing in Cubic Room. It is for Mika & Pascal to read and know how their parent’s life in the past. Therefore, let me make it clear in advance that I love you, boys. I love you more than everything else in the world. I will die and bleed for you if I have to. There I said it. Now I can continue.

Due to my ‘divorce’, I decided to shorten my Idul Fitri holiday from 3 weeks to 1 week only. There are so many things that need to be finished or handed over to my sisters. Anyway, being home for a week and be constant mediator for Mika (6 years and 4 months) and Pascal (2 years and 6 months) had really challenged my negotiation skill, patient and ability to make decision.

Mika is cheeky, (a lot) bigger than Pascal and yet has short temper. Pascal is small, very valiant and also has (very) short temper. What a perfect combination. The conversation usually goes like this:

I, Mika & Pascal sit peacefully in front of TV watching Toys Story for the 100th times eating Idul Fitri cookies:

Mika: I want to sit up front (he refers to sitting arrangement in the car).

Pascal: I want to sit up front.

Me (in confusion): But guys, we are not going anywhere. So nobody sit anywhere.

Mika: If we do go somewhere, I want to sit up front.

Pascal: NO. I WANT TO SIT UP FRONT.

Mika: YOU ALWAYS SIT UP FRONT WITH MOM!! I NEVER SIT UP FRONT SO I WANT TO SIT UP FRONT!!

Pascal would then scratch Mika and Mika would try to kick Pascal and the nanny and I got stuck in the middle trying to be barriers for both parties.

Or:

Pascal is holding a Buzz Lightyear. Mika tried to grab it. Pascal holding it back and pinch Mika really hard. Mika cried and tried to hit Pascal. Sometimes when it succeed, Pascal would cry and will try to punch Mika back. It would end up both crying and Pascal would throw up.

*Great*

OK, so the result of a week being referee in ‘domestic violence’ are:

1. One of Mika’s tae kwon do kick hit my nose and it hurt like hell! (I lost my temper on this episode and slap his back *groan*)

2. Two of my fingers swell when I tried to deflect another kick from Mika aimed to Pascal. (I did not do anything on this one as it was too painful even to speak).

3. Sore throat for keep on yelling. The usual sentence are: don’t speak that way! stop saying those kind of things! stop yelling! don’t hit, ok? Calm down! Calm down! CALM DOWN!!

This squabble usually ended with hubby coming to my rescue and calming me down. Fortunately we do have refrigerator and ice cubes.

No, I am not going to write about that Japs horror movie. In term of horror movie, I am a sissy girl to the bones. It’s about my wedding ring. Well, my engagement ring to be precised. When we got married, we still used the same ring we had when we got engaged. We just moved it from left hand to the right hand. And a year after, we moved it back to the left hand because we both had gained weight and it could not fit our right hands anymore. Tee hee.

And on Sunday when we were having one of those tour de mall to buy Idul Fitri stock and were on our way to Plaza Senayan, hubby suddenly came up with the idea to buy a new pair of wedding rings. Huh? What do you mean by that? Are you planning to re-married inspired by my previous posts or what? Hubby explained that it seemed to be a good idea to have new one and kept the old one for future investment. Future investment? Selling our wedding ring so we could finance something like…my son’s university? Selling my wedding ring??? I thought that’s what an insurance for! My mind seemed a bit fuzzy for the moment before I calmed down a bit and see the lighter side of the offer. Hey, a girl won’t turn down an offer of a diamond, yes?

So impulsively, we browsed around the jewel shop eyeing every wedding rings. We giggled endlessly when one of the young storekeeper asked us about the date. I wonder whether we look like a couple who will get married for the first time or the second time or the third time. Did we look like divorcee or widow? The young man seemed puzzled when we explained that we have gotten married more than 8 years a go and just like to buy a pair of new rings. That’s all. But it was fun process and brought back a lot of wonderful memory when hubby and I browsed around the mall 10 years a go looking for engagement ring.

Our engagement/wedding ring is of 22K gold. From the outside, it’s the classic perfect circle. But what people can’t see is, there are little diamond embedded inside. Not in the outside. That’s the meaning of that ring. Love is for you to feel in the inside. Lets keep the diamond inside. Close to your skin, your vein and your heart. Others don’t have to see. That’s what love is. You don’t have to show it, but you have to be able to feel it. It’s private for you and your partner. It’s not for public consumption. It’s for you and only you.

However, our new ring who made me fell in love right away now have diamond in the outside. I think a girl in my age will always be in narsistic mood. It’s of white gold and it has a perfect medium size diamond in the middle. When I put it in my right ring finger I almost could not take my eyes of it for it glew shimmering under the light like a fairy’s dust. I felt like Frodo. Mesmerized by a ring. I told hubby firmly that this is what I want. After the 6 shops we went, this is what I want. I don’t want any other ring. Hubby agreed and the deal was made. The shopkeeper was very nice and promised that it will be ready by end of this month. Perfect timing.

And another surprise apparently is waiting, I got an early birthday gift of a pair of diamond earings too. Solitaires. Yay! Thanks hubby, I love you…what a perfect day.

P.S the only thing hubby said was that to make sure not to take it out and leave it anywhere otherwise I would loose it. He is fully aware how forgetful I am. Hehehe…

I am embarrassed to say that both Mika & Pascal have not been aqiqah-ed until recently. We simply wait for the right moment and sort of forget about it. The aqiqah ceremony usually happened on the first 40 days of the baby’s life. However, any new Mum would agree with me that the first 40 days is the toughest. Sleep deprivation, engorged breast, raging hormones…you name it. Beside, we sort of did not know how to handle it. None of our relatives need to be fed. We didn’t want this holy ceremony turn into party for those who don’t need it.

Finally hubby came with brilliant idea to have it organized through the mosque and I agreed.

So yesterday, we received pictures on where the mosque distribute the goat meat. Two goats of Mika was fed to people in Situbondo, East Java. And two goats of Pascal was fed to people in Nganjuk, East Java. There are pictures of people praying, make satay, and I was so happy to see the happiness in their face. I don’t know any of them and they don’t know us but the pictures really made my gloomy week.

Have a nice weekend, everybody.

One of my colleague who once saw (read: peep) my e-mail to hubby ask me why did I initial it with J and not S and why hubby initial his with M and not Y.

Well, J is my nick name at home.

Iit started when hubby and I got engaged in 22 Dec 1997 (is this the correct day, M? I believe so). I don’t remember exactly how it started but I think on that day, after the long and tiring Minang engagement ceremony where the elders from both families citing poem to each other in Padangese for almost an hour (which I didn’t know any word they said, they could have traded me for a cow - I wouldn’t know), I sat on his lap in my pink kebaya and hubby (or fiance at that time) called me je t’aime. I love you. I think it kinda sweet and I like it. So it stucked until today but now, it is pronounced Jetun. Just like the paint. And the short form of it is Jet. So just in case you happened to be in my house and heard hubby called “Jet!” it does not mean that we have Jet Lee as our new body guard. He simply called me.

M is hubby’s nick name at home.

No, it has nothing to do with James Bond’s boss, the famous M. I used to call my hubby with just his name even after we got married. Some wives do call their husband with Mas (Javanese) and Uda (Padangese) once they got serious. Meaning: big brother. Since I literally grew up with hubby, I do not see any need in changing the way we address each other. He was one of my best friend who became my high school sweetheart then husband. Why on earth should I suddenly call him big brother all of a sudden?

Anyway, in the beginning of our marriage, it is a tradition in hubby’s family that we should pay visit to the elders. In visiting them, we should wear traditional dress and bring cake whereas they would serve us lunch or dinner.

Being a completely independent woman for the past 25 years, I used to walk in alone with the cake in my kebaya whilst hubby parked the car. I simply don’t like waiting under the sun. It will make me sweat, ruin my make up and flare my Lupus (what a robust excuse!). So I’d prefer to walk in like some lone ranger. Some of hubby’s relative would welcome and asked me, “Mana Uda?” or where is your big brother. And I looked back in wonder and answered, “I don’t bring my brother.” and they looked back at me as if I showed up wearing pink wig and polka dots shoes (although that wouldn’t be a bad idea compared to kebaya and painful korset and sanggul). it took me a while to realise that they were referring to my newly wedded husband. Ach so! Why don’t they just said so?

But that didn’t change they way I called hubby. Until few months later hubby told me that his Mom told him to tell me that I should change the way I communicate with hubby. Huh? Well, first of all, my Mother in Law is the sweetest woman on earth. Really. If she said something like that, it means that it had caused quite a concern in the family. Oh well. We’d better think of something before we offend anyone since we will be stucked with them for the rest of our lives. I didn’t feel like calling him Uda. I didn’t feel like calling him Mas. So I short it to M. M. Everybody is happy and we are happy.

So, that’s the story of M & J. As we passed through the years of marriage, these names sticked. I almost never call hubby with his real name and neither does he. We never call each other with Papa or Mama as well as he is not my father and I am not his mother. We found this convenient enough until our kids started to call me ‘Jet’ and called hubby ‘M’. O-oh…looks like finally we have to grow up and call each other with something else.

But meanwhile, I like being called J. And I would rather remind Mika to call us with our proper standard title.

I am back with story as promised!

We left with Company bus around 7:30 am on Saturday from Senayan. It is not purely coincidence that the Committee (which most of them are my friends) put us in Bus 4 - Pink. Yes, the bus is color coded and one of them is coded to my liking. Yay! We sat right behind the driver to give the kids broader view. Both Pascal & Mika were very excited. Mika chatted endlessly and invited giggles from the rest of the passengers. Pascal as usual, being a follower, replied back in his toddler language. And when Pascal looked bored and the boys started to shove each other, I asked the driver to play the Peter Pan karaoke DVD that I specially brought. Fortunately, he has the same DVD so after a while, we listened in peace to the same songs I’ve heard everyday. Peter Pan from the album of Hari Yang Cerah Untuk Jiwa Yang Sepi. This has successfully brought big grin from Pascal and both boys sang endlessly until the rest of the journey.

We arrived at Mambruk around 10:00 am. The boys run directly to the play ground whereas I sat through the opening ceremony peacefully with my woman friends. It was only around an hour when one of my friend’s son ran to inform me that Mika fell from seesaw. I saw Mika crying and when I checked, I saw the right corner of his upper lips slitted open! I started to panic and called the Hotel staff and also our Safety guy. Our Safety guy then came with his first aid kit backpack. But when he saw it he told me directly that he could not do anything about it as the wound is too wide and too deep for him to handle. It needs to be stitched up. The Hotel then provided us with a car and we went to a clinic.

I already got a bad feeling when I saw the clinic. It was dark & gloomy. And when the (so called) Doctor came in his casual checker shirt (+ goatee) and check the wound without even thinking to see it with the flash light, my heart sunk so low. He said that it need to be stitched up but there is no way I will let my son to undergone a surgery there no matter how simple the surgery is. I felt like crying and ready to ask somebody to take me back to Jakarta where the civilized hospitals are everywhere. Fortunately, a colleague who is also dear old friend of mine called. He suggested me to take Mika to Krakatau Steel Hospital and has sweetly offered his help to accompany us. He said that I am going to need somebody to be with me to go through this. However, knowing that he came with a daughter, 10 months baby and 37th month-ish pregnant wife, I told him that it would be best for me to be accompanied by somebody else. I would feel really bad to trouble him and his family. I then called the Safety guy and we returned to the hotel to pick him up, change the car with the one with better Air Con. Nevertheless, my good ol’ friend came to checking up on us and helped to find us car. Thanks, dear friend, for extending help when it needed most. I was so glad that you are there for me and my kids.

So again, all of us and the Safety guy drove for almost an hour to the closest hospital where the Emergency Room look bright and the paramedics wear sterile uniform. Mika needs to be stitched. No doubt about that, so Mika started crying when he realized that there is no way to get around that. It took three men to hold him for he was a big boy. I calmed my self as best as I could and talked to Mika in the firmest tone I had that he had to stay calm. It will hurt but it is to stop the germs from entering the wound. So Mika got three shots in the open wound (in which he wailed and cried) and had it stitched.

I believe I have never been a weak woman, but when I saw my son’s lips being stitched my knees went rubbery and I felt like crying. I felt like I was going to faint so I really had to push away the troublesome motherly emotion, compartmentalized my self and be as strong as I can be. The advise given by my good friend was so true. The present of my other colleague really helped and the fact that he is one of our Safety Engineer had really helped me a lot going through the first hand experience seeing somebody being stitched.

We went back to the Hotel and I noticed that my colleague’s wife kept on calling him to check his whereabouts. He then explained that his wife is in the early pregnancy. And because she had miscarriage before, she can’t run around watch their son. Oh no, I felt really bad to hear that and endlessly apologize for troubling him. But he was very sweet and said it’s okay. He even carried Mika around to soothe the boy. I really hope nothing happened with his backbone otherwise I will never forgive my self.

The remaining 2 days went without any major incidents. Mika participated in games as much as he could whereas I took Pascal swimming. Pascal, who is in terrible two stage, was a bit challenging to manage. He pushed the bed lamp, pour the juice to the bed, called my friends ’stupid’, refused to wear his pajama which made him really look like Obelix with his white blue stripes pajama pants and refused to wear his swimsuit and jumped to the water naked. Oh dear…

I did not manage to participate to any game for apart from not really being a game fans, I also have lost my appetite to do anything but to return to Jakarta. My other colleagues have also been very sweet in checking up on us and excused me for not participating fully. The GM came to see us and spoke to Mika kindly on how brave he was. So I think he did enjoy all the attention.

We managed to return safely to Senayan on Sunday at 05:00 pm where Pascal run around and hit the metal detector frame right on the face. He still have not get the chance to heal from his purple bruise on his left cheek and now he will have another bruise. Oh dear. Why all my kids seemed to be always in some sort of wound? Does anybody’s kids as active as mine? I have never been happier to see hubby pick us up. Things seemed to be more manageable when he is around.

Anyway, it was 2 fun days after all where drain my physical strength as well as my emotional endurance. But it was fun and I managed it okay after all. We came back with sandy laundry and two stitches richer. Phiew…

Company Family Day will be held this weekend in here and as hubby had clearly say that he will not come due to his job demand, I dare my self to take the boys all by my self. No, that’s a lie. I will bring the nannies with me. But still, without hubby, I feel so alone and vulnerable as I will be the one who is in charge. Nah, I just made a hyperbolic comment. I believe I can manage but to be totally honest, yes - this will be the first time I take both boys without their father for more than 4 hours and usually only over a trip to the Mall. I know that it’s pathetic. 

Anyway, being an incompetent & seldom around Mom, I feel very nervous. They are so attached to their daddy, especially the little one. What if he cried all night and ask for his daddy? I can’t ask hubby to come in the middle of the night drive 2 - 3 hours to Anyer, can I? Hubby would kill me. I can’t ask somebody else to pretend to be his father either because Pascal would recognize him right away. By the way, this is the tactic that my Mom used when hubby and I went taking Mika to Singapore several months a go. Mom had my youngest brother slept with Pascal so when Pascal awake, he saw a man figure next to him and he thought it’s his daddy. Har har. I can’t ask for the same thing, can I? Hubby would kill me. To mitigate this risk, I had started pre-conditioning Pascal that daddy will not come. And he stubbornly said, “He will come!”. I told him that daddy will take us to the big Barney bus and we will go with the bus to the beach. Daddy will pick us again in Jakarta. There will be a lot of friends there and he can swim to his heart content. He can even make sand castle and got present. After a quite about 5 minutes of lengthy explanation and luring, Pascal said again, “Daddy will come!”. Oh no. So I give up for the time being. I guess Pascal is still in denial.

Anyway, I had started packing last night. Whilst selecting things to be placed inside the luggage which is varied from pots & pants, small stove, water heater, milk bottles, nipples and cans of milk, kecap cap bango, swim suit, I felt another jolt of panic attack. What if there’s tsunami? A colleague of mine sent us an article that there will be high wave in that area and both Mika and Pascal still can’t swim properly. I am not sure about the nannies. I am contemplating to have them wearing life jacket wherever they go for this coming 2 days. I am sure they will be pleased.

Pascal has started coughing as well. So I guess I will need to bring his usual medicines and some warm oil for emergency. I hope he will not have fever. Other than that, the hat provided by the Company is not sufficient to cover their necks. So I guess I will bring the other company’s hat that will protect the back of their necks from sun burn.

What about the toys? Mika wanted to bring the whole collection of Ben 10 and Justice League. Pascal is having difficulties in selecting which train and/or monster truck to bring. I need to constantly remind the nanny that we will be using the company’s bus and please please please select only the must have and not the good to have it around for just in case. But even the selection process has caused some tension and constant badgering between the two boys. And NO, YOU CAN NOT BRING YOUR BICYLCLES!

I think my biggest fear is when they started fighting or being their boisterous selves and there is no daddy to discipline them this time. There were times (more than I could remember) when my warning was completely ignored until hubby came and took control, and then they stop and listened. Oh gosh…what a challenge! I feel completely useless.

Anyway, all is packed and I am ready to take my two dare devils with me. We’ll be back with the complete story next week. Wish me luck!

Yesterday was Mika’s first day as first year elementary student and I am pleased to say that it went well. Mika seemed to be at ease and happy to meet his old buddies. I was the one who was a bit nervous…well, very nervous to be honest. My boy is an elementary student now. He will be expected to be more independent and more ’student’. My little baby boy had grown into a big kid!

Being a little bit paranoid Mom, I checked the toilet, make sure Mika know where it is and how it is. Fortunately, they do have sitting toilet instead of the other one (the jongkok one). This was my biggest fear and I had him trained using our maid’s toilet to overcome this. I asked him whether he can go there without any help and he is adamant that he could. I have also managed to speak with Mika’s new teachers, Mrs. Erna and Miss Feby, and they seemed like nice women. I felt more comfortable and hang around to chat with other Mothers. Tried to see whether I missed anything. Not long after that, the bell rang and the students had their first Monday ceremony. The first graders marched together with the towering sixth graders and I kept on looking for Mika. My little boy seemed fine. Chatting and giggling happily with his friends. I waited until they went into class then I left.

And today is Pascal’s first day and it went well too. At first he was still clinging to hubby, but once they went into the playground, he slided down and was on his own. He painted, hopped around, slide down and managed to follow the activity. Pascal was also responsive to the teachers, which is very heartening. I compared him to Mika, and Pascal’s first day was so much easier than his brother.  I believe that he will have no serious problem.  First day at school for Pascal lasted for 1 hour. He went home sleepily and went to bed directly for a nap.

I am so happy that both of my boys are at school now. But on the other hand, I have always feel a bit sad that they both have grown so fast! There goes my little baby boys…I sometimes secretly wish that I could freeze the time to have them forever be my babies. I love you, boys…