You don’t believe me? You think I am being cocky or too sure of my self? What if I tell you that I always get what I want. Will you believe me? No? Why? Cause there is no such thing? But I do. I always get what I want. And what if I don’t? Then I will keep on trying. I will keep on trying until I get it. Until I am satisfied with it. That’s the mantra of my life. That’s how I live my life. Once I want something, I will focus on that particular thing, and use all effort to get it. And it’s amazing. I even beats life sometimes. You don’t believe me? Ok, here are some examples:

1. On 1990, a Doctor told me that I will not live long. Due to my Systemic Lupus Erythematosus. I will only have 10% chance to live. I looked at him in wonder. I mean, don’t we all going to die someday? What’s new in the news? Ah, he is saying that I am not going to pass my 18th birthday. Oh really? Doesn’t he know who I am? So right after that, I focus my self to survive. To live. Whatever he told me, I followed. As the major cause of Lupus is stress, I learned to let go. I let go my good grades. I let go my appearance. I let go all the dreams, the engineering schools, the parties and the live of 17th years old girl. I have one objective, I have to live. And here I am. Alive and kicking. And boy, I could kick real hard if I have to. Ask my clients.

2. On 1997, things were very depressing in Indonesia. Professionally and personally. I broke up with my boyfriend again. So I want to work abroad. I started to widen my network. Until I found someone who can open a door for me. I met my potential employer. I flew to his country for orientation. And I got the job. I got the job as an expatriate when I was nearly 24. Funnily, once I got it, I lost interest. I have other thing that I want. I want my relationship to work. So I left that abroad job and start working on my relationship again. Things have been quite hot and cold with my boyfriend at that time. And I made up my mind, lets make it work. Lets make all effort, heart & mind to make it work. And it worked. And we got married.

3. On 2000, I was told that I will not be able to get pregnant. Ooookay. So I let go everything. Including contraceptive. And voila! Here I am with two healthy boys. Tee hee.

4. On 2007, things were very depressing in the office. Professionally and personally again. Long working hours. Long commuting time. Endless traveling. I was suffered. So I decided, I want to work in an Office close from home. So I started applying all possible companies close to my house. First interview was not too impressive. I was offered something that is not my passion. Second interview was like being offered a moon. So I grabbed it. I grabbed it and here I am. Doing things that I love. And got paid for it. Isn’t that great or what?

My point is, you should keep on trying. Like the Energizer bunny, keep going keep going keep going. Tried until its hurt. Even if we don’t get it, at least we knew that we’ve tried. Lets have some rest. And try again. Try differently. And it will happen. Believe me. You just need to want it so badly, get your self motivated, and do everything you can to achieve it.

Right now what I want is to have quality time with my family. So I keep on asking my self. What can I do to make you happy? How can I make the kids time more fun and yet educative. How can I make sure every word I said has an impact to them. How can I consistently lead with examples? How can I…in my limited time…make sure that my kids knew that even though I am not going to be around much, I have always -no, correction- I will always…always…hold them dear in my heart. I will not be gone long. I will be really busy only for 24 months. And after that, that’s all. I will be yours now and forever. I can assure you that. You don’t have to be lucky to have that because that’s what I will do.