After more than 3 months, the itch of missing my ’siblings’ from my previous ‘marriage’ grew into a pain. A pain searing so deep in my heart that made me decide to battle the rain and traffic jam to go there and had a cup of coffee. Indeed I had. And a good time I bore. It was good to sit under the starts below the mist left by the rain (or was it the car fume?) and had a good laugh over things that once were my life. It was a good feeling to be surrounded again by those who were dear to me and hearing things that were familiar to me. But it was the best feeling to realize that I was not part of any of it anymore. Not anymore is a good word. Hence, I can develop a distance and laugh at it. The divorce was the one of the best thing I ever did in my life. It ended up with one of them dropped me off to one of the mall where I can get a registered cab and we had another kind of conversation along the way.

Unfortunately there was an aftermath. It happened that it had caused problems for one of them. It was maddening and yet its true. Oh dear. What had become of them? A communist party? Anyway, that’s none of my business. I just have to be more careful in choosing my crowds next time.

I had another lunch followed by coffee with one of them couple of days after. I got the explanation that after I left, the situation had becoming even worse. I listened and saddened. It was a great marriage. One that I intended to commit my self ’til die do me part. I did not comment much for I knew that my comment would not help. We spent few minutes in comfortable silent until we decided to drop the subject and discuss something lighter.

And to close the hectic and yet nice working week, I had a karaoke season with my friends. It was another series of good laugh. But this time it’s a sweet laugh, not a bitter one. It was not laugh made to cure depression. It was a genuine laugh for having a good time and realize that I am a one lucky girl. I got everything that I want. I had hit my sweet spot. What more could I ask?

Jakarta rains heavily. All I see outside my window is grey and grey everywhere. Sometimes I could see the tree tops swaying played by the wind and some particles of water splashed through the window. I got text message how the flood has started, the traffic got worse and the airport is closed. Blimey.

I am feeling blue. Just found out that Mika had G6PD deficiency. They said it inherited from the mother’s side. My poor baby. Me and my bad genes. I talked to the company doctor this morning. Could it be the daily heparin injection I took during my pregnancy caused this. He said no. But why that does not make me feel better? Anyway, I have been hearing this since yesterday. It suits my feeling.

The Scientist

by ColdPlay 

Come up to meet you, tell you I’m sorry
You don’t know how lovely you are.
I had to find you, tell you I need you,
Tell you I set you apart.

Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions,
Oh lets go back to the start.
Running in circles, Comin’ up Tails
Heads on a science apart.

Nobody said it was easy,
It’s such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be this hard.

Oh take me back to the start.

I was just guessin’ at numbers and figures,
Pulling your puzzles apart.
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart.

And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start.
Runnin’ in circles, Chasin’ up Tails
Comin’ back as we are

Nobody said it was easy,
Oh it’s such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be so hard.

I’m goin’ back to the start.