Oh my, what I thought was going to be a 2.5 days usual business meeting turn out to be one of the most valuable experience in my life.

First, it was the ‘Shopping Race’ or a local Amazing Race that really excited the adventurous side of me. It made us taking the monorail, jumped into MRT, run around China Town and Central Market to collect pieces of jigsaw puzzle so we could accomplish our final task. Although it depend on running speed and thank God because of my recent London trip I now have a pair of trained feet, I could not help not to let my eyes wandering around in between running. I mean, I have been in KL many times before but the trip usually consist of airport-hotel-office-KLCC-office-hotel so it was not really memorable. But this time I was so amazed and want to memorized everything. A pair of chinese little red shoes (so cute!) dangling next to a stuffed baby crocodile (ew!), smell of chinese food being cooked in a small alley, some youngster trying to get to know my boss (who is a cute small bond english woman). What a start, ha?

Next day, we were asked to cut and patch pictures from magazines that represent our self. Hm? I never thought about that. I knew that I did a lot of self contemplation to the point of over analyze my self, but I never visualize it into symbol. So I carefully chose pictures of children (Mika & Pascal), man in safety equipment (hubby who have always been my saviour), wallet (financial independence), pink (favourite colour), books & under water world (hobby), capuccino with dollar sign (self explanatory), tables of movies (planning & scheduling), toll road (straight forwardness & infrastructure) and red brick house (travel). When we put it on the wall and viewed others pictures I gasped and marvelled at how different people perceived their life. My boss’s poster is very deep and philosophical. Others are quite clear and some are truly inspiring and I was curious why it was like that - I found out more about it later on.

We later on discuss about type of people. I surprisingly found my self more as an introvert as oppose to extrovert. Hmmm…sometimes the picture of my chattery self does not quite fit with that but upon careful look, I found out that although I ‘displayed’ my self as typical extrovert actually I am an introvert to the bones. All the sign is there, the self preservation, the need of privacy, the peculiar idea to observe others, the thought and the thinking, I felt it like is actually it was already stamped on my forehead I just did not see it. I simply forced to repress it as I was raised by an extrovert mother and being an only & eldest daughter (and therefore a family representative in most family function), I am expected to be an extrovert. So I did (and do) not have much choice then and now. But deep down inside, I knew that I never feel comfortable with this role. But I guess that’s a non negotiable obligation that came upon me so I learn to master it.

The last day session was the one that moved me so much. We were asked to draft a graphic of our life. As I drafted it I remember all my ups and down. Mostly my struggle with Lupus. And when I present it to the group, I was surprised to find the load of emotion built up inside me just speaking about it. I thought I have accepted it as part of me and it’s a subject that I should have found easy to share. A condition (I hate to call it an illness) that will limit my opportunity to enjoy the life as it fullest at some point but yet also something that impact my personality and character tremendously. It energized me and it made me accept life as continous blessing. But talking about it in front of a group of people with old memory flashed around like broken record was proven to be more difficult than I thought it would be. The dissappointment of being told not too study too much and therefore I must forget my goal to go to State University. The frustration of not able to have activity under the sun and all the restriction imposed to a (used to be a very active) teenage girl. Not to mention endless medicines, endless doctor visit, endless reading - bear in mind that it was in year 1990 there was not much literature about it and on top of it endless worried of not knowing what would happen. I remember clearly the feeling of worried my stomach churned when the doctor told me at the delicate age of 17 that from 10 Lupies, only 1 who will survive. So only 10% that will remain alive? Hmm…

It took quite a while for me to accept that my condition does not make me less special as a human being. I could die at anytime but so does everybody else, am I not correct? That’s what I keep on repeating to my self and I surprisingly feel better and I did get better.

The other thing that I marvelled so much from this session is that the realization that within my team, I am surrounded by so many strong and courageous people (mostly women). People who had experienced bad things in their life and yet they survived. Some of the experience was so bad -I must admit that I cried a lot during this session- but yet they felt comfortable enough to share how they made the best out of it. I felt so honoured to be among them. I guess it took a lot of courage and high level of trust to be able to do that. Compared to them, my problems seemed very trivial I felt so embarrased to even consider it as problem. We revealed our selves significantly so at the end of the day, we felt so much closer to each other. Target accomplished and I guess we understand each other better. Gosh, what a serious posting, I need a coffee.

Over and out.

The rain is pouring heavily outside my house. I switched off the air conditioner as the temperature is nice and cold already. I always love it when it rains. I like sitting and listening to the noise it made when it hit the roof and window. I love to see it pouring outside and know that I am warm and safe inside.

What a perfect Sunday.

This morning, it was warm and sunny. The whole family went for a swim in our regular sport club and meet our old family friends. It was already good to be under the sun and surrounded by water so to have old friends and their kids with us was like an additional bonus.

The couple and us went to the same kindergarten, elementary, junior high and senior high together. Husband and I started dating each other 2 years earlier than when they started to see each other. We were always part of the same crowd who went to see the music show, soccer game and also regular movie goers. And when Mika born 2 days earlier than their eldest daughter - Diany, we knew that we will spend lost of time together and watching the kids grow together. And so there we were. Two families with young kids having fun together. What can be more fun than that?

Pascal hit the water and paddling right away. I have always been amazed with this little guy natural reaction towards water. Mika, as usual, needed a lot of encouragement before daring him self to take the plunge. Diany was good in water, and little Ditya was very brave paddling around with his little floater. Rany, who is 5.5 months pregnant, does not look pregnant at all whereas her husband, Ferdy, look even more pregnant than her. Ha!

We swam for about an hour when the sky begun to turn grey. So we stopped. I scooped Pascal out and bathed him in the near outdoor shower. Mika next. It took a little longer for me to bath and not in the outdoorshower of course (mind you!) and the crowd in bathing room delayed me a bit.

When we reached home, I felt so hungry I felt that I could eat a horse. So here I am with contented stomach having such a relaxing time watching the rain whilst Pascal asleep with hubby and Mika played with his nanny. Oh and did I mention that I have finish packing for my trip to KL tomorrow? I don’t think life can get any better than this…

…I am not sure whether that’s the correct term, anyway ever since I returned from my maternity leave 8 months a go, that has been the view of my cubicle window. Yup, there is a an office building construction phase going on right next to ours. It was not a nice sight but sometimes it provides food for thought. Just like this morning.

As I looked down over steaming cappucino, I saw group of workers assembled for what (most probably) a morning briefing. A group of supervisors stood in front of the line and one of them were giving direction. It was interesting to see how they were colour coded based on rank. White helmets are for supervisors. Among the workers, there were orange helmets and blue helmets. It’s very interesting. I am sure that it would make identifying process easier but it also made the supervisor an easy target. White helmets among the brown soil and grey cement. Hmmm…it’s very easy to accidently drop something on them. Oops! My imagination running mild, if it was up to me, I will color code the supervisor with pink, and the workers purple and ocean blue. I will blend the cement with pink ingredients so it’ll turn pink (just like play dough) to make the supervisors less identifiable. I am sure they will like it. Ha!

The briefing lasted for about 10 minutes and afterward the workers swarmed through the construction site. The blue helmets were doing something in one side whereas the orange helmets were doing something in another side. I guess that’s why their helmets are differentiated. The white helmets were standing, supervising and chatting among them selves. They wore green uniform, I wonder whether it is their safety outfit. The workers wore their usual shabby clothes. Hm, uniform for supervisors but not for workers. Interesting. I was wondering how construction company structured their compensation. The blue and orange helmets might be a daily worker. Whites are not. Will they get commission on a percentage of total project if they performed? I heard that some oil service companies imposed such ‘carrot’, what about construction companies?

In the middle of the site, a crane stood proud and high. An operator had sat there, moving things around. I remember that in the early months of having Pascal, I was craving to climb that crane. I want to know how it feels like to be up there and moving those things. With the wind breeze playing my hair and people look so small down below. It must be quiet and serene (maybe not!), anyway it must be marvellous! Unfortunately, no friend of mine who work in construction business would like to risk their insurance coverage by taking a pregnant woman to it nomatter how badly she plead and beg. What a shameless behaviour!

As the sun set higher, my capuccino is getting colder. I need to start working.