For those of you who live and breathe in the Eastern society may notice that as you grow (older) more and more people seems to think that they have granted right to ask you lots of weird questions in a tone that could make a professional interrogator shuddered.

Generally it started when you are twenty and in the university. People (especially the elder relatives) tend to throw weird questions such as, ”When are you going to graduate.” If you are a non-ambitious second class student like me who would settle for B (or C) as long as you could graduate fast enough before anyone could say, “Oy!” this question would never bother you. You could easily say, “Oh I still have 20 credits to go, Uncle, I think I’ll graduate by next year.” And the fact is, people rarely ask about your index point. They just want to know when are you going to stop bothering your parents with huge college bills and when can they stop giving you ang pau in Idul Fitri (general rule of thumb is you are entitled for pocket money on Idul Fitri from your elder relatives until you earned your own salary. That’s when the table turn and you are obliged to give your younger relatives pocket money commonly known as ang pau). Index point? What is that? Never bother them and being one of the fastest student that graduate in my class, I happily passed this first common weird question that usually bother my fellow straight A student.

The second weird questions usually thrown when you are twenty something and still have your freedom (read : no boyfriend and girlfriend). First the question will be asked politely during family function. A distance relative wedding is the worst – most dangerous event ever. It started with, “Are you coming alone tonight?” and your answer that you came with your parents or siblings does not seem to satisfy them. They will tsk tsked at you for a while, looked pity on you however, don’t get clouded with this false sympathy as this happened only before they bombarded you with advise how one should not be too choosy in picking up partner. And oh, if you are a woman, it’ll be worst. Trust me. Lucky me, who had been having steady boy friend since Junior High, this question was also never bothers me.

The third weird questions usually explode when you are twenty something (late twenty will be the worst age group. You’ll be in death row if you are in your early thirty) and have steady boyfriend and girlfriend that you have introduced to your nosey relatives couple of times before. Again, wedding party is one of the most intimidating occasion when your relatives (or your boyfriend or girlfriend’s relatives) look at you with glittering eyes and ask you, “When?”. Making your eyes look as innocent as possible and a lame reply, “When what?” will not save you. Trust me. Pretend to be light hearted and reply with, “May. Maybe yes, Maybe no.” will not save you either. They will hear only the first part and rumors start to spread that you will get married on May and you will realize it when this news reach your parents and they came to you with anger of preparing a wedding without letting them know.

Am I still able to hold my fortunate situation up to this point? If you checked the 3rd paragraph you will see that I will have no chance to escape from this 3rd question. You are right. I got this weird question a lot. Bummer.

I don’t know why elder relatives seem to think that they have a right to ask such a personal question. And it’s not like they are going to pay for our wedding or make sure that we are emotionally ready to tie the knot, that’s for sure. They just love asking questions and seeing us looking uncomfortable does not seem to bother them.

And when we do decide to get married do you think the question has stopped? No, that was just a beginning. It reminds me of school examination when you opened the paper and you thought happily that, “Ah, there are only 5 questions.” But when you really look into it, it’s not only 5 questions really. Question no. 1 for example, it has 1a, 1b and 1c. And so does question no 2. So altogether there are actually 15 – 20 questions hidden neatly in the first simple question. Same with life.

It started with an innocent, “When are you going to get married?” and when you are married, “When are you going to have kid?” will follow. And if you think that they will stop asking question when your first born arrived, think again. The next question will be, “When are you going to give him (or her) siblings?”. It drives me nuts.

However, when I was able to put aside my thought to kick them spiraling across the room and think about it carefully, actually the questioner does not really want to hear your answer. They actually thought that they are being polite and in good manner by showing their concern to you. Weird, eh? I guess that’s what Eastern culture is. Everything is centered to family life and people is trying to show that they care to their younger relatives by asking lots of questions to the younger relatives. Questions whose answer will be forgotten soon before anyone could say, “Oy!”. Trust me. I met a relatives who asked me three times when am I going to give my son a little sibling before I realize that he really didn’t remember that he has asked me that question and had heard the same answers three times before. Even better, I witnessed him asking the same question to my cousin who (in my delight) look as annoyed as I was. So how to get rid this killing instinct whenever I hear such personal question? I tried to turn the table by asking them back personal (and according to my standard – is ill mannered) questions and it was easy. When a Sister in Law of mine asked me about, “How big is your house? How many rooms?” I gave her a blabbering answer and ask her back, “And how about your house? How big it is?” followed by detailed questions about the design, colors of curtain, cleaning techniques and I found it amazing that she actually enjoying answer those questions. She really thinks that I am being sweet and actually interested to hear about the way she lives. Weird, huh? Well, as long as it keeps me away from those probing interrogating style questions, I am ok with it. And being seen as sweet and caring relatives is an additional unexpected bonus. Phiew!