I went for my Company Team Building event last month. To tell you the truth, being quite skeptical in the beginning, the result turn out to be great. It activities varied from night jungle trekking (night jungle stumbling in the thorny bushes I would say!), team game as well as team work in overcoming physical obstacle and this include climbing 3 m height of wall, build your own raft and sail over the sea. In short, it’s very challenging and yet exhausting. I have never in life felt so out of shape and being a complete burden for my team but yet (despite all the bruises and aching muscle!) I was proud to be able to go through that and still remain intact.

One of the thing that impact me most was the was the Trust Force. It was when I had to climb up to ca. 1.5 m height of wall and fell my self backward. I would not hit the ground because my group will be there to catch me when I am fall. Easy, right? Not at all.

First of all, it was not an easy task at all to let your self fall. Nevertheless we must fall backwards. And as apparently many of the fallen people sometimes injured the catcher with their sudden panic, it is said that the organizer would bind both of our hands.

Second, it was not an easy task either to believe that your team will be able to catch you especially if you are not one of those petite size of person. I am not only so un-petite, I am gigantic! The floor will tremble beneath my step…ok, I exaggerate a bit here but basically I am not a person that you would like to fall on top of you as I could cause a quite serious damage with my weight. OK, stop feeling sorry for your self, Atkins diet…here I come!

Back to the topic, I had this funny feeling ever since I climbed up. I kept on saying to my self that the team have been successfully catching people a lot heavier than me but then my fear was creeping in, what if they got tired? What if they dropped me?
And when the instructor binds my hands I started to panic. And when I heard people started to tell me that it’s ok and that they are not going to drop me, panic was really seized me. The next thing I knew that the instructor gently pushed me and I dropped like a sack of potato.

The feeling (during the falling) was even weirder. No, it was not like the slow motion of Hollywood action movies, it was as if you flew against your will and yet you knew that you had not other choice. There was never in my life I felt so helpless and when I first feel (or hit to be précised) someone’s hands at the back of my self, I felt so relieved. Phiew. I am saved.

Later on the instructor informed us that the moral of the situation is you have to be able to give your trust. Trust to your staff that they can make the right decision (it is also called empowered). Trust to your manager that she or he will give you guidance and make sure that they will be there if you made mistake. Trust to your friends that they will listen to your problem and not going to repeat it to others. And nevertheless, trust your spouse that she or he will not be dishonest with you. Easy? Not at all.

To give your trust would mean that you are making your life fragile as you are setting up expectation. Giving trust meant that you open your heart to the possibility of being betrayed and therefore, being hurt. Wouldn’t it be easier not to trust anybody and therefore avoid your self being hurt? Perhaps. But then how would your life will be? You’d be so busy watching your back and restrain your self. You would end up checking your spouse mobile phone for suspicious text message or stalking your loved one looking for prove. Wouldn’t it be stressful?

I am not saying that you should blindly trust people or stranger. I am a firm believer of if he fools you once, it’s his fault but if he fools you twice, it’s your fault. My point is, being able to trust you should be able to justify whether the person deserve your trust. Don’t be naïve but be realistic for you have no other choice but to trust others.

To believe that people is good is a good start. In general, I would say that people is proud to be trusted and they will try to keep our trust for trust is an expensive thing. But you will also need to measure up to what point you should trust people. The closer you are the more relax you will be in giving your trust. You will start giving slack and therefore, your life will seems a lot easier because now you have someone to share your burden.

What if you trust proven failed? Well, people made mistake and people made wrong judgment. We are learning through our mistake. Some might be fatal, mostly I don’t think it will be fatal for human is not perfect and therefore can be quite tolerance towards unintentional mistake. And what is most important is there is no such thing that can not be amended. And that includes heartache.

I saw a dear of friend went through a painful divorce and recovered. She did not fear to have another relationship, and another until she feels ready to get married again. I found it truly amazing and I did admire her guts. She did not turn out to be a bitter or man hater person. She stayed as sweet as she was against all the troubles. I would say that her first husband did not deserve her and that she deserved someone better.

Back to my earlier case, what would happen if my team failed to catch me? Well, I would assume their hands would still slow down my fall. I would bump in the ground, of course. But softly. And it will leave no mark other than more of nasty bruises! One thing I know for sure it won’t stop me to try to take another fall. This time with a soft cushion beneath me, of course.